Having just started out in the media world, I still find it rather weird seeing myself in newspapers and, most recently, a magazine I read regularly.

The first thing I check is that they used a good photo of me and then my eyes dart around the page for my name. And usually, I’m not surprised to find that my surname has been spelt Claassen when it is fact spelt CLASSEN. It might just be a simple error but my name makes me unique, defines who I am and is my stamp on the world. It’s just not cool when someone messes with your stamp.

In this week, I read stories of two celebrities who decided to bless their newborn babies with far-out monikers. The poor little sprites will now grow up as Princess Tiiaamii and Story Elias and they join an elite group of celebrity children where names like Apple, Diesel, Denim, Seven, Moon Unit, Pilot Inspektor and even Audio Science are bestowed upon lucky recipients.

Even if the parents can afford a lifetime of therapy for these poor children, it’s still so damaging to have a name that will be the butt of many jokes for years to come.

I like my name. It’s short, simple, easy to spell and thankfully isn’t taken from a fruit. The running joke in my family is that my parents could’ve named me Cliffydia, which is a contraction of their names, Cliff and Lydia. You have no idea how happy I am they didn’t do that! My surname, however, seems to be a conundrum for some journalists but now I make a point of checking that it’s spelt correctly.

All this talk of names got me thinking about some of the unusual names one can find in science:

Laser – It’s actually an acronym that stands for Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation

TNT – Its scientific name is Trinitrotoluene Varicella zoster. This disease actually goes by the common name of Chicken Pox

Kinanthropometry – I have a friend who studies sports science and he had this as a subject. To this day, I can’t pronounce it correctly. It’s a complicated name for a specialisation that deals with various body measurements e.g. build, proportion, shape etc.

Acute viral nasopharyngitis – It’s a bit long-winded so somebody very clever decided to christen it “The common cold.”

Panado – The chemical name for this painkiller will give you a headache: para-actyl-amino-phenol

And finally, the longest word in the English language is the 1913-letter name of a protein: methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylserylleucy-
lphenylalanylalanylglutaminylleucyllysylglutamylarginyllysylglutamy-
lglycylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolylphenylalanylvalylthreonylleu-
cylglycylaspartylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylserylleucyll-
ysylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucylisoleucylglutamylalanylglycylala-
nylaspartylalanylleucylglutamylleucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylala-
nylserylaspartylprolylleucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisoleu-
cylglutaminylaspfraginylalanylthreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylal-
anylalanylalanylglycylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinyl-
phenylalanylglutamylmethionylleucylalanylleucylisoleucylarginylg-
lutaminyllysylhistidylprolylthreonylisoleucylprolylisoleucylglycylleuc-
ylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylvalylphenylalanyla-
sparaginyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamylphenylalanyltyrosyla-
lanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalylglycylvalylaspartylserylv-
alylleucylvalylalanylaspartylvalylprolylvalylglutaminylglutamylserylal-
anylprolylphenylalanylarginylglutaminylalanylalanylleucylarginylhi-
stidylasparaginylvalylalanylprolylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcyst-
einylprolylprolylaspartylalanylaspartylaspartylaspartylleucylleucy-
larginylglutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyrosylglycylarginylglycyltyrosy-
lthreonyltyrosylleucylleucylserylarginylalanylglycylvalylthreonylglycy-
lalanylglutamylasparaginylarginylalanylalanylleucylprolylleucylas-
paraginylhistidylleucylvalylalanyllysylleucyllysylglutamyltyrosylaspar-
aginylalanylalanylprolylprolylleucylglutaminylglycylphenylalanylgly-
cylisoleucylserylalanylprolylaspartylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalany-
lisoleucylaspartylalanylglycylalanylalanylglycylalanylisoleucylseryl-
glycylserylalanylisoleucylvalyllysylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylglutamin-
ylhistidylasparaginylisoleucylglutamylprolylglutamyllysylmethiony-
lleucylalanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanylvalylglutaminylprolyl-
methionyllysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylserine

Enjoy trying to say that!